Dancers. Dance teachers. Parents of dancers. Friends of dancers. Choreographers. Directors. Ballet Masters. Physiotherapists. Exercise Physiologists. Nutritionists. Ballet Mistresses. Audience members. Mindset and career coaches. Agents.
Anyone and everyone who has any involvement with dancers of any age, of any level, I have an important message for us (myself included).
We can and we must do better.
Back in 2018 when I started my pursuit to provide mental health support for dancers, every person I spoke to could not be more supportive and enthusiastic of the journey i set out to achieve.
'It is so needed!' people would say.
And too many would also say, 'I wish I had this when I was training, maybe it would have helped and I would still be dancing.'
Even those who were never a part of the ‘dance world’, saw from the outside (and maybe a Dance Academy episode 😂), how brutal, tough and (putting it plainly) horrible, being a dancer could be sometimes.
My family saw it.
My friends saw it.
The world was seeing it too.
But.
While there was plenty of people acknowledging there were issues needing to be addressed. Well, those issues didn't go very far.
After two years of having Dance Care Australia; a counselling private practice to provide a space where dancers can feel heard, understood, supported and empowered. it's still the same now.
Being a full-time mum has given me my fair share of interruptions... but it's still the same story, and I hear everyone say one thing, and do another.
They say: 'Our dancers need this!' 'What a valuable resource.' 'I wish I had this...' 'It's been long overdue.'
But when it comes to it, it's either too expensive, or there's not enough time, or the 'physical' is placed above the psychological again, and again. And again.
What people are saying is so desperately needed, what the industry is thirsting for, is not happening in the way our dancers need.
Maybe we've become complacent because we know the services and resources are out there so they must be doing their job and dancers are getting the support.
Except there is a huge disconnect from this ideal world of the community utilising these spaces to ensure our dancers psychological wellbeing is in it's prime, and what is actually happening right now.
We all want our dancers to enjoy their dancing and overcome the challenges and psychological distress. But when it actually comes to them needing support, when it comes to actually engaging with services, booking a session, talking to professional, it's not happening in the way that it needs to. In the way that is beneficial for not only the dancers, but everyone in the industry.
You could tell me that it's Dance Care Australia, or the demographic we're trying to address, but I'm not seeing any evidence of it being a priority in our dance communities. It's not obvious for dancers to utilise if they found themselves in a position requiring support.
I've done workshops where I've just felt like a glorified babysitter, a label to tell parents and the dance community they're looking after their dancers wellbeing.
Whilst simply having the services in front of the dancers is valuable in its own way. You can tell the difference between the dance leaders that want to provide and support their dancers psychological wellbeing because they know how important it is and the dance leaders who are just 'ticking a box' to satisfy their moral obligation and keep everyone happy.
They need more.
They need to know that there is someone there to talk to at any time, and a place to process any thing.
Whether it is to celebrate with them when they scored that contract, or to cry with them when they’ve lost what they thought was everything.
They need someone when they are feeling so lost because they don’t know if they want to keep pursuing dancing.
And then need someone when they’re heartbroken because they don't want to give dancing up yet, but their injuries and job opportunities say otherwise.
These are all just a few of the gut wrenching realities that our dancers are facing.
And they're not facing them when they’re 30 or 40 years old.
They’re facing them when they’re still teenagers. When most of us would feel like our lives hadn't even begun.
But for these dancers, in these moments, their lives are ending.
So they need us to encourage, to champion on give them complete approval of reaching out, of talking to someone and being able to navigate everything that comes with it.
We also need to model it for them, and sometimes that starts by us reaching out for help ourselves first, so that they learn that it is okay.
So they learn that it is normal, that it is good and that it is valuable to not only their dancing lives, but beyond that as well.
Sucking up the pain
For too long, too many dancers are, or have been, told to suck up the pain.
They are told that when it’s painful it's good, or they're just working hard enough.
But there's danger in this.
It's not just in the classroom that they use this information.
When they walk out those studio doors they take it and apply it to every part of their lives.
As soon as they walk out the door, it sticks with them.
They apply it to their emotions, their feelings, their thoughts, everything.
That when something is painful, when it's all too hard, they bury it down because they've been told that's what you do to become stronger and better.
They've been told that pain and suffering is fine and normal, and you shouldn't let anyone know what is truly going on inside.
So one thing we need to do better is to teach them a different way.
Instead of ignoring, pushing it away, we need to teach them how to acknowledge it.
To share it with a trusted person.
We need to teach them that bringing those hard things out, and facing those moments of distress, they might not be easy but when we allow them to be, it will set them free.
Our dancers need to know that letting it all go might be messy, and confusing and complicated but it's also the only way for us to be stronger.
And unfortunately it goes beyond this need to process these difficulties these hardships.
Because sometimes it’s not just a result of being a dancer in a cut throat industry. Sometimes it’s a result of injustices and inequality that has been ingrained within the dance world for longer than it should have been.
In these cases these dancers need to, have a right to understand what has happened to them. They need to be able to face those miserable events so that they can live knowing that they are free of it.
But also so that they can fight.
So they can fight from a place of understanding what needs to change, how it needs to be change, how it should have been in the beginning and what should have never occurred or should occur again.
Do Better
So they need us to do better.
So that they can do better things for our dancers that are just starting to walk.
So that my daughter doesn’t have to know about or ever experience the unforgiving, unrelenting comparisons. Or feel insufficient because she doesn’t look a certain way or cannot jeté as well as the person beside her in the audition.
That instead, they are able to see their own beautiful and unique abilities about them as an individual.
So she can walk into a studio and leave as happy as she did when she entered, because she didn't feel the need to please anybody or win anyone's approval.
So that they don’t walk into the studio already feeling like they’ve already failed.
So we have dancers walking into the studio just because they want to, and need to and they just have to dance.
Getting help isn't a walk in the park (Well, in the case of the Walk n Talk Therapy I offer, it is...)
But I get it. Counselling can be scary.
Pouring a heart out, and actually speaking those deep dark thoughts is so so terrifying, and might feel unnatural.
So we need to change that story.
Dancers need to hear a story of a place they can go to where someone will deeply listen to them, encourage them, and hold space for whatever they bring that day.
They need to hear a story of someone who is going to walk with them no matter what.
A story of a place where they don't need to perform and be perfect.
Of a place where where all they have to and need to be is themselves.
We need to tell the story that counselling, therapy, getting support, is about leaning on someone so that they can become stronger so that they can keep walking through those moments that are too hard.
We need to do more
And I know I’ll have plenty of people agreeing with me, but that's not enough.
We need to start seeing a real shift in our communities.
We have been anticipating that shift. Excited for that shift. But we're still waiting for that shift.
If we so desperately need this, then we need to ask ourselves what are we doing about it? What are we putting in front of the dancers?
I know we all want to see our dancers more confident and secure in themselves.
We want them to know that if they muck up a step they're going to be okay.
That they're still a good dancer, and they can still go and do and be an amazing performer.
The best part
The best part is that we are already in the best place to be able to start these shifts. To change these behaviours. To re-write these stories.
We see those dances so frequently we know when things are out of whack.
We can tell there’s something off.
You see those changes in their dancing, their demeanour in the studio when things aren’t right.
YOU, WE know when things aren't going like usual or when things just seem harder for them to understand or harder for them to process.
We get to see it, so we get the chance to address it. To guide it, to support it.
So if you are one of those people that I mentioned at the beginning of this article.
If you are someone who is in a position that could support a dancer's psychological wellbeing for the better..
Don't hesitate for a second.
Let them know about about the supports that are out there, about the resources that could make a difference to their distress.
I doubt you will regret doing so.
And if you're reading this thinking - I don't know how to do that. What would I even say? That is okay!
Have a conversation with someone. Myself, or anyone else that you trust in.
We need to work together, none of us can or should do it on our own.
People need villages to become strong people, and if we have strong people, then we will have a strong village. Our dance community needs to be a strong village.
And I'm sorry, but I'm also not sorry.
I don't like being the bearer of bad news, or the person who's telling others that they're not good enough. There is plenty of that in this world we live in.
But our dancers are suffering, and they need us on their side.
They don't need us to wait for them to ask for help.
They need us to show them where to get it, to make it obvious, to make it easy, to make it pleasant.
Getting support can sometimes be hard enough work on its own.
Dancers don't need us making it even harder to provide them a way to get there.
I believe in us and our ability to do this! We just need to take the first step and to not - even for a second - hold back.
So let's go!
Let's do better.
Our dancers need us.
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